It's a Love/Hate thing these days

36 weeks 5 days

I love knowing that in just a few weeks I'm going to have a brand new baby. I love folding his tiny little clothes fresh from the dryer. I love when Peanut reads to my stomach and it moves around for her. I love when people call me and ask how the baby's doing today knowing he's still a chillin in the belly. I love it that people are generally nicer to me and hold doors open for me and let me skip ahead in line for the bathroom. I love the fact that I'm going to get a 6 week vacation from work and that my parents will spend 1 of those weeks with me. I love packing my bag to get ready to go to the hospital. I love working part time and knowing I'll get to remain part time after I go back to work in Septmeber (unless he comes a little early then it'll be the end of August). I love the thought of being a mom to another person and feeling like my family is complete.

But right now. Right this second, I hate having to get up every hour of the night to pee. I hate the pressure I feel on my bladder as I try to walk. I hate that I can't just roll over in bed. I hate that I'm never comfortable. I hate that my belly hangs down so low and sometimes touches the toilet seat. I hate that the lowest part of my belly hurts to touch. I hate that most of my maternity clothes don't fit right. I hate that I can't always control my emotions and hormones. I hate that I don't feel like going fishing with Peanut and Nickel or playing basketball with them. I hate that I can't sit down at a resturant and pig out. I hate that I've burped more in the last 8 months then I ever have in my life. I hate that I'm not yet 37 weeks and praying for the torture to end because it makes me feel selfish. I hate swollen feet. I hate backaches. I hate heartburn. I hate that I'm going to miss my MIL's wedding because it's out of town. I hate that my house isn't as clean as I'd like it but I don't have the energy to clean it and even if I did I couldn't bend down to pick anything up. I hate that my hips hurt if I sleep more then an hour on them. I hate that I can't sleep on my back or my stomach. I hate the waddle. I hate that I have so much trouble getting in and out of a vehicle. I hate that I'm so dang negative right now!

I could probably go on but I'll stop there...