Monday, August 21, 2017

The First of the Lasts

I'm not ready for a year of lasts.

I have 30 minutes to type this blog entry and convey all of the emotions I am feeling. That is all the time I have allowed myself today (from 7:30-10:30) then I have to pick myself up, take a deep breath and go about my regularly scheduled tasks for the day.

Why the three-hour pity party? Well, today was the beginning of the end. Today started with the last First Day of School picture I will take of my little Peanut.Today she began her senior year of high school.

I began in this blog in 2005 when my Peanut was 5 years old. She was sassy. She was strong-willed. She was determined. Basically, she was a handful. From birth to about eight years we had many disagreements. So very many. I couldn't wait for her to grow up.

Her first day of Pre-K was a good day. After attending a pre-school class at the church I worked at I took her to her first day of public school Pre-K. She was tiny but she was fierce. I didn't cry. I was ready for her to take on the world and show them what she had and she did just that. She boldly walked into school and set about making her mark.

The years passed. She grew in knowledge and understanding. Our relationship became less antagonistic and slowly we became friends. Don't get me wrong, we still have moments where she and I clash in opinion and wills, but thankfully, these events are growing fewer and further in between.

Then, today Peanut began her senior year of high school. Today was the last time I will take her First Day of School picture and it makes me sad. This year will be full of last times. I know that this is an exciting time. So much of life happens after you leave the halls of 8:30-3:30. After high school she will have the opportunity to see new things, experience life she never realized existed. I'm truly excited for these things, but at the same time I want to hold on these moments because I still see that cute little 4 year old in pigtails and I want to hold her and never let her go.

I'm not crying. There's allergies in my eyes. Also, that was a total lie, I'm totally crying. I am 100% positive this will not the last time I cry. It's just the beginning.

Tuesday, August 08, 2017

A Little "Me" Time and Other Lies I Tell Myself

Nickel and I both work outside the home and the children are often left to their own devices. And by devices I mean iPhone or tablets. Often upon arriving at home of the evening I spend anywhere from 15-45 minutes listening to Peanut or TheBoyWhoDidNotTalk(much) tell me all about the day. Sometimes Peanut is at work by the time I get home.o

After dinner tonight, I went to my bedroom to soak up some quiet time. Within a couple of minutes here came Peanut flopping on the bed beside me and started talking. Twenty minutes on probably only four breaths later TheBoyWhoDidNotTalk(much) wondered into my room waving a weapon he had crafted using colorful straws and a lot of tape. It reminded me of something that might appear in a Dr. Seuss book to be honest. I thought for sure he was going to poke his sister with it but he was a good boy and refrained himself. We discussed the quantity of straws used to make this giant gun/stick/thingymabob and tape. "Hey! If you leave tape just laying on the floor I'm going to use it!" he yelled in his defense. Well, he did make a good point there.

The rest of the night passed in the regular ebb and flow of a middle income family of four living quietly in the heart of the second largest city in the state. Before going to bed Peanut attempted to retrieve her phone charger next to the chair we lovingly call her nest when all of a sudden she cries out, "Ow! I didn't see that pillow until it was poking me in the eye." We laughed for a good five minutes over the irony of that statement.

I dearly love my family. I love that we can laugh together and at each other. I hope we always stay this way.

Thursday, August 03, 2017

One Week To Live

I haven't had nearly enough coffee this morning but here is my random musing for the day. Did you know that the average lifespan of a gnat is 7 days. That's it, one week to be born, go through the awkward stage, graduate high school, find a honey and die.

That's gotta be some pick-up line though, "Hey baby, I only 72 hours to live, want to hook up?"

What do you think the gnat that lives to 10 days says to their grandchildren? "When I was your age, last week, I flew around a banana for two hours. People were clapping and cheering all around me. Oh, those were the days."

Seriously, I need to go find some coffee. Have a lovely day.

Friday, July 28, 2017

12th Anniversary

On July 30, 2005 I published the very first entry on this blog. For several years I faithfully chronicled my thoughts, happenings and life in general. Around 2008 Facebook appeared on the scene and I was able to get more reactions in less time. As years past this blog received less and less of my attention, but still I kept for one reason or another. I love looking back at the stories I used to tell about Peanut, my daughter who is about to start her senior year in high school if you can believe it! These memories would have been forgotten had I not written them down.

I cannot say the same about TheBoyWhoDidNotTalk(much), but my memories of him are on Facebook, not as easily accessible. I should find a way to retrieve them. Memories are important. You never know when the deep desire to look back will overtake you. 

So on this, the eve (or close enough) of my anniversary, I renew my commitment to the blog. In a sort. There will be no promises to write my thoughts down often. I wish I could say that I will write every morning between 8 and 9 am, but that's silly for I do not know what tomorrow will bring. However, I renew my commitment to not delete this blog. As long as blogger exists, I will maintain this blog and from time to time I will write down my musings. 

An update on life-

Nickel is still my one and only. He and I recently celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary. While in some aspects it feels as though only a few moments have passed in other aspects it feels as though we've spent three lifetimes together. One thing I know for sure, my love for him is deeper than it has ever been. Our marriage is a true partnership. We share responsibilities and I never feel like I'm going through life alone. My hope is that my children will someday find that person who makes them feel the same.

Peanut, as I mentioned is a senior in high school. She is both looking forward to it and dreading it. More than anything she despises hearing the "so, where are you going to go to college and what will you major in" question that EVERYONE feels compelled to ask. She knows it's a normal question for people her age but she's feeling a bit overwhelmed. Nickel and I try not to bombard her with our thoughts on subject, but she knows we would prefer she go to the college that costs the least. 

TheBoyWhoDidNotTalk(much) is going into third grade and he never stops talking. He still is difficult to understand at times, but through Speech Therapy has improved leaps and bounds. He recently celebrated his ninth birthday. When I asked him what he wanted to do for his birthday he said, "go to a museum." So, along with his favorite cousin GrahamCracker and my SIL we went to the Tulsa Air and Space Museum. The boys had a blast. They got to get inside airplanes, launch a space shuttle, fly a hot air balloon, and so much more.

Ecclesiastes 3: To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.