Monday, June 04, 2012

Why You Don't Discuss Medical Issues with Car Guys

The following is an actual conversation my husband and I had just today on Yahoo IM. Please note that we've been married for almost 13 years and this is the man who suggested he could help the doctor cut baby Butter out of my stomach with a plastic spoon (follow the link to see Nickel with said plastic spoon).

Me: I think I should have my blood pressure checked.
Nickel: i have a guage int the garage
Me: a blood pressure gauge?
Nickel: fuel pressure..should be same
Nickel: think you gonna blow a gasket
Nickel: i can check your vaccuum also
Me: I'm wondering if maybe my meds aren't helping me as much. I'm really lightheaded when I stand up. I only lasted at work about an hour
Me: I feel better when I'm laying down though.
Me: I felt ok first thing this morning but as the morning progressed and I was on my feet I tanked and felt like crap again. 
Nickel: crazy
Nickel: yeah i dont know anything bout blood pressure, so dont know if that would do it or not
Nickel: i dont know ..doc still on vacation?
Me: i don't know, haven't called maybe I could just email him and see what he suggests.
Me: he'll probably tell me to get my bloodpressure checked though. he's like that.
Nickel: seems like high blood pressure wouldnt make ya dizzy
Nickel: if you were a car i would say you have fuel pressure regulator issues
Me: wouldn't that equate to blood pressure?
Nickel: maybe blew a power vale last time you backfired
Nickel: yeah it does
Nickel: unless you have a vacuum leak
Me: bleeding on the brain?
Nickel: take a deep breath and hold it...see if you have any leaks around nose,ears, eyes..that area
Nickel: Some people with uncomplicated hypertension, however, may experience symptoms such as headache, dizziness, shortness of breath, and blurred vision usually with blood pressure that is very high. The presence of symptoms can be a good thing in that they can prompt people to consult a doctor for treatment.
Nickel: googles sez its high
Me: No leaks
Me: thanks googler
Nickel: still thinks its regulator,,,pressure high/not enough volume...could be your pump
Me: well, we don't want my pump, ie my heart, to go out so i guess i'll call the office.
Nickel: see if they can put in larger return line.
Me: I don't think that's possible without bypass surgery and I'm not in the mood for that thank you.
Nickel: we could do an external frame mounted set up make you look all cyberpunk bionic
Me: that's sweet, but no thanks
Nickel: i gots tools..the more dan and i clean the more i find
Nickel: i could build you a coolcan too fill with ice and keep you much cooler also
Me: well...uh...when you find them all we'll talk
Nickel: k
Nickel: til then best talk to a medical professional, or you will end up with petroleum based products runnin through your veins
Me: thanks babe.

Nickel: could move you up to a higher octane
Nickel: sucks you feel bad
Me: You know, I think I'm going to post this conversation on my blog. It's very enlightening.
Nickel: it may be easier to find a borg and get assimilated, they tend to repair flaws as they do the assimilation
Me: and someday when I write a book i'll put it in there too.


Bee said...

That was hysterical.

And for the record, dizziness, common reasons:
Low blood sugar
Iron anemia
Vitamin B anemia (very common, take some B complex)
Low folic acid

I hope we don't have to go the Borg route.

J.Michael Pontious said...

As the physician of record...I learned many things from this conversation...things that I did not really want to know...we have such a long, long, long way to go...just sayin...

you might want to hold your blood pressure, retake the bp in a couple of days and avoid inhaling the high octane fumes...please

Leslee said...

I don't even like high octane fumes.

flowersonline24 said...

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