The First of the Lasts

I'm not ready for a year of lasts.

I have 30 minutes to type this blog entry and convey all of the emotions I am feeling. That is all the time I have allowed myself today (from 7:30-10:30) then I have to pick myself up, take a deep breath and go about my regularly scheduled tasks for the day.

Why the three-hour pity party? Well, today was the beginning of the end. Today started with the last First Day of School picture I will take of my little Peanut.Today she began her senior year of high school.

I began in this blog in 2005 when my Peanut was 5 years old. She was sassy. She was strong-willed. She was determined. Basically, she was a handful. From birth to about eight years we had many disagreements. So very many. I couldn't wait for her to grow up.

Her first day of Pre-K was a good day. After attending a pre-school class at the church I worked at I took her to her first day of public school Pre-K. She was tiny but she was fierce. I didn't cry. I was ready for her to take on the world and show them what she had and she did just that. She boldly walked into school and set about making her mark.

The years passed. She grew in knowledge and understanding. Our relationship became less antagonistic and slowly we became friends. Don't get me wrong, we still have moments where she and I clash in opinion and wills, but thankfully, these events are growing fewer and further in between.

Then, today Peanut began her senior year of high school. Today was the last time I will take her First Day of School picture and it makes me sad. This year will be full of last times. I know that this is an exciting time. So much of life happens after you leave the halls of 8:30-3:30. After high school she will have the opportunity to see new things, experience life she never realized existed. I'm truly excited for these things, but at the same time I want to hold on these moments because I still see that cute little 4 year old in pigtails and I want to hold her and never let her go.

I'm not crying. There's allergies in my eyes. Also, that was a total lie, I'm totally crying. I am 100% positive this will not the last time I cry. It's just the beginning.

A Little "Me" Time and Other Lies I Tell Myself

Nickel and I both work outside the home and the children are often left to their own devices. And by devices I mean iPhone or tablets. Often upon arriving at home of the evening I spend anywhere from 15-45 minutes listening to Peanut or TheBoyWhoDidNotTalk(much) tell me all about the day. Sometimes Peanut is at work by the time I get home.o

After dinner tonight, I went to my bedroom to soak up some quiet time. Within a couple of minutes here came Peanut flopping on the bed beside me and started talking. Twenty minutes on probably only four breaths later TheBoyWhoDidNotTalk(much) wondered into my room waving a weapon he had crafted using colorful straws and a lot of tape. It reminded me of something that might appear in a Dr. Seuss book to be honest. I thought for sure he was going to poke his sister with it but he was a good boy and refrained himself. We discussed the quantity of straws used to make this giant gun/stick/thingymabob and tape. "Hey! If you leave tape just laying on the floor I'm going to use it!" he yelled in his defense. Well, he did make a good point there.

The rest of the night passed in the regular ebb and flow of a middle income family of four living quietly in the heart of the second largest city in the state. Before going to bed Peanut attempted to retrieve her phone charger next to the chair we lovingly call her nest when all of a sudden she cries out, "Ow! I didn't see that pillow until it was poking me in the eye." We laughed for a good five minutes over the irony of that statement.

I dearly love my family. I love that we can laugh together and at each other. I hope we always stay this way.

One Week To Live

I haven't had nearly enough coffee this morning but here is my random musing for the day. Did you know that the average lifespan of a gnat is 7 days. That's it, one week to be born, go through the awkward stage, graduate high school, find a honey and die.

That's gotta be some pick-up line though, "Hey baby, I only 72 hours to live, want to hook up?"

What do you think the gnat that lives to 10 days says to their grandchildren? "When I was your age, last week, I flew around a banana for two hours. People were clapping and cheering all around me. Oh, those were the days."

Seriously, I need to go find some coffee. Have a lovely day.