Tooting my own horn

Last month I told you about Haley, my best friend from high school, getting engaged(finally). The town I grew up takes about three and half hours to drive to so it was cheaper for me to buy it and have her to mail me the dress then for me to drive there and rent it, have them altered, and try it on before the wedding. When I got the dress I immediately tried it on. It looked too small. It was. With much struggle and no breathing Nickel was finally able to zip the dress up without bursting any seams. Barely.

With Nickel's dad dying I wasn't able to focus on the dress or loosing weight. I was just trying to make it from one day to the next without an emotional breakdown. So, now the world has calmed down and normalcy, whatever that really is, has resumed. I've been making better eating choices. I've limited myself to just one soda a day (I haven't limited myself on the size of that soda, sometimes it's a medium coke, sometimes it's a large- but only one). And I've added more exercise to my daily routine. Mostly my daily routine includes walking, but I added in some strength training and pilates whenever I can fit it in. My bathroom scale hasn't moved very much, but I know my clothes are getting loose, even the ones I had buy a few months ago.

So, this morning, I thought, 'I wonder how close I am to that dress fitting.' So, I did what any girl would have done, I put it on! And you know what, it zipped up. Now, I struggled with it a little bit, but I was trying to zip a dress by myself. But IT ZIPPED! I didn't even have to keep from breathing either! I'm so excited. I'm not going to have it altered (I'm short, it's 3 feet too long) for a couple more weeks so who knows what kind of alterations will need to be made by then. Doesn't that sound exciting??!?!? Well, it does to me. And that's why today I'm tooting my own horn!!!

In other news, my friend Simple Faith has started a blog. Why don't ya'll stop by her place and tell her hello and give her a blogger welcome!!

Insecure

in‧se‧cure  /ˌɪnsɪˈkyʊr/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[in-si-kyoor]
-adjective
1. subject to fears, doubts, etc.; not self-confident or assured: an insecure person.
2. not confident or certain; uneasy; anxious: He was insecure about the examination.
3. not secure; exposed or liable to risk, loss, or danger: an insecure stock portfolio.
4. not firmly or reliably placed or fastened: an insecure ladder.


To look at me you wouldn't think I was insecure. To meet me, I'm usually outgoing, friendly, and confident. But I really am insecure. I'm terrified of not be liked. I'm terrified of looking like a fool. I'm scared to death that I won't be good enough or even just enough when it comes to a certain someone. Mostly, I just fake being secure in hopes of someday actually being secure. That's what all the Mary Kay directors said when I started out pushing lipstick, 'pretend your a director until you are a director and you'll already know how to act' they said. Well, I gave up and never made director but I've tried to take that little piece of wisdom with me. Someday I'm going to have to figure out how to get over being insecure.

300

Guess what, this is my 300th post. Hmm... you're still reading my random outburst? Bless you! Too bad I don't really have anything profound (boy that word looks funny to me tonight for some reason) or witty to say. Peanut likes school. She hates going to bed. I think she'll outgrow that in about 65 years. I hope.

So, I'm not a fan of reality shows. I hate to see people fight over some prize. Then I found The Messengers on TLC. Have you seen the show? Well, you should! It's awesome, but tonight it made be mad, but then I came to the computer and got happy again.

Ok, if you haven't watched the show I'll tell you a little bit about it. They started off the show with 10 speakers. Each week these speakers go on a field trip of some sort. Week one they spent the night homeless on Skidrow. They worked on a farm, spent a day either blind or lame, visited a children's hospital, and a morgue. Each week they are given a topic for which they have to write a two minute inspirational speach. After they're done the audience selects the speaker that touched them the most and the least. I agree with the audience the first 4 weeks. I didn't this week. One of my favorites, Robert Rutherford, was eliminated after a very moving speech. All the speakers did well this week so I know the audience must have had a hard time. I was ready to give TLC a piece of my mind, signed up to read and participate on their message boards. I got into a Fourm where they were talking about him. And there was a link to the church he preaches at. This is where the happy comes back. All I have to do is click here and there and wham, I can hear the Message that God has blessed him with. See, God does work good for all things. If you'd like to listen to what he has to say, you can visit him here. You can even listen to some of the worship songs.

Ok, well, there's my 300th post. Goodnight, have a great weekend. I may or may not have time to put up a picture tomorrow. But you're welcome to stop by this weekend to check and see.

One last fling

Well, before we know it the sun will be going to bed earlier and coming up later. The hot humid air will dry out and become cold. The flowers will take their much needed rest as we begin to pile on more and more layers of clothing. Picnics at the lake will be replaced by hot cocoa by fire. First the pumpkins will appear with their funny and scary faces carved and painted. Fresh baked pies will be cooling as families gather together to give thanks for the year's blessings.

BUT....

Before all that I'm going to have one last fling with summer. Nickel has to go to Dallas on business this weekend so Peanut and I are going to play in Tulsa. We have lots of family in Tulsy Town and will probably crash with one of them. It's been a couple of years since I've been to the zoo. We might take in the Reggae Fest. My brother-in-law has a pool that has been tempting me for months. And we might even brave Woodland Hills Mall! Hope you all are able to have one last fling with summer as well!

Phriday Phunny Photo

Photo Guy took this picture last Saturday. I wasn't there so I have no idea why Peanut is giving him this look. Got a funny caption for her? Go ahead and put it in the comments section.

Open House

We took Peanut to her school's open house last night. Her teacher was hired yesterday. The teacher she was suppose to have is out on medical leave and may or may not come back later in the school year. This information had me just a little bit worried. But in conversation we discovered she owns a Chevelle.

Daddy thinks she'll be a great teacher.

This and That

First off, have you noticed my profile pic? I have TWO eyes now. I can really see now!!

Second, here's a picture of Photo Guy taking pictures of Peanut and her new camera on the front porch.

That's all the pictures blogger will let me upload this morning. I'll try again later.

Peanut

Photo Guy, Nickel's cousin, was here last week. He came in the day before Pops died and stayed the rest of the week for the funeral. Photo Guy is an amazing photographer but he's also an amazing person. He came over to the house a couple of times to hang out with Nickel, and I really think he made a huge difference for all of us this week. Photo Guy took tons (I'm guessing well over a thousand or two) of pictures and I managed to get 150 of them out of him by threatening him with bodily harm. Here's just a taste of what he took.


Peanut and her daddy. I think this is one of my favorites because of the look on her face and how Nickel's looking at her. It's their personalities in a nut-shell!

We've had some amazing blue skies lately. It must be getting close to October, because you know that's when the sky is the bluest!


Peanut bought an old camera at a yard sale a couple of weeks ago. Of course when Photo Guy showed up she had to impress him with her camera skills! I'll have to see how well the picture I took of him taking her picture of her taking his picture turned out.

Phriday Phunny Photo

I haven't forgotten about you all! Here's a phunny picture to start (or end or be the middle of- whatever!) your day! Now THAT'S a cool tattoo! But just incase you don't really like the freakishly cool tattoo, I'll give you another picture.

A Time To Die

Thank you all so much for your prayers and warm wishes over the last few days. Pops passed away yesterday about 4:00 pm. We can all begin the healing process. Thank you.

And Now for Something Completely Different

The hardest part

The hardest part of waiting on someone to die is well, the waiting. When someone dies suddenly or at least without much warning you grieve and you're done. When you're waiting on someone to die you have to wait. Every time the phone rings you wonder, is this the call? I love my father-in-law and I don't want him to die, but I don't want him to suffer any longer then he has to either.

Tonight Peanut was being, well, her normal stubborn strong-willed self, but I sensed something different. I think the stress is getting to her as well. I tried to sing to her tonight, she tried to sing along, I cried. I often sing this song to her when she's had a bad day or is scared of the dark. Tonight the words were straight from my heart. Here's the words the song we sang:

Here these words, oh Lord I pray,
For my strength has gone away,
Give me patience now to see,
That you're goodness covers me,
I must know that you still care
That in times of deep despair
I can reach my hand to you
And you'll be there.

Guide my steps when I can't see,
Help me Lord, to trust in thee,
Be my shelter on the way,
As I struggle towards the day.
For the strength of your good hand
Will direct me towards the land
And the promise you have made
Will lead me there.

Abide with me, fast falls the eve'n tide
The darkness deepens
Lord, with me abide
When other helpers fail and comforts flee
Help of the helpless
Oh abide with me.

Guide my steps when I can't see
Help me Lord, to trust in thee
Be my shelter on the way,
As I struggle towards the day
For the strength of your good hand
Will direct me towards the land
And the promise you have made
Will lead me home.
And the promise you have made
Will lead me home.

Life

Perhaps a better title for this post would be death. I'm sick and tired of death. Death needs to go away and stop bothering the people I love.

But there is a time to die and my father-in-law's time is drawing very near. He had cancer a few years back and beat it, but recently it came back with a vengence. Slowly but surely he is dying. He's mostly skin and bones and spends more time sleeping then waking.

But he's surrounded by people that love him. Over the weekend he had both boys and a host of friends and loved ones. He's even seen most of the grandkids.

We don't know when his appointed hour will be, but it will be soon. Pray for his wife and sons in the coming days as well as his peace and comfort.

Thanks.