Monday, August 28, 2006

Insecure

in‧se‧cure[in-si-kyoor]
-adjective
1. subject to fears, doubts, etc.; not self-confident or assured: an insecure person.
2. not confident or certain; uneasy; anxious: He was insecure about the examination.
3. not secure; exposed or liable to risk, loss, or danger: an insecure stock portfolio.
4. not firmly or reliably placed or fastened: an insecure ladder.


To look at me you wouldn't think I was insecure. To meet me, I'm usually outgoing, friendly, and confident. But I really am insecure. I'm terrified of not be liked. I'm terrified of looking like a fool. I'm scared to death that I won't be good enough or even just enough when it comes to a certain someone. Mostly, I just fake being secure in hopes of someday actually being secure. That's what all the Mary Kay directors said when I started out pushing lipstick, 'pretend your a director until you are a director and you'll already know how to act' they said. Well, I gave up and never made director but I've tried to take that little piece of wisdom with me. Someday I'm going to have to figure out how to get over being insecure.

9 comments:

the sojourning pilgrim said...

My experience with humanity indicates that most of us feel that way - I'd put it in the 90% area.

How was the weekend. We missed you.

Cindy said...

Yeah, you and me both.

You're on the right track...Fake it 'til you make it!

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

I, too, have experience with Mary Kay ...

Jenn said...

I still need to learn how to fake being secure.

Badoozie said...

ME TOO

Leslee said...

And here I thought it was just me. The ones I know in real life are good fakers too! The rest of you, probably are too. The person I'm most insecure around is the one person I should be most secure around. How crazy is that. But I guess that's what husbands are for. Seeing the real you.


Mugsy, I know about your little mishaps with Mary Kay...

EmmaSometimes said...

I feel the same. I always remember Dr. Phil saying, "You would never worry about what people thought of you if you knew how infrequently they actually do"

Aunt Jo said...

but at least you know how to put on lipstick!!

you are a doll.....

Leslee said...

Um, yes. I do know how to put on lipstick. I knew that before MK!!!