Should I stay or should I go now?

Question. If you had a chance to get a job that offered about $8000 more a year then your current job and offered benifits such as medical, dental, vision, and 401k, would you go for it?

Background information. Let me start off saying that I'm a very loyal person. I don't just up and quit anything. I've been a member of two churches my whole life and the only reason for the second one was because my first church is now 4 hours away and that's a bit much to commute. I have never just up and quit a job on the spur of the moment. I even stick with the same kind of icecream for years and years. For me to even be considering another job while I currently have one is difficult for me. My current job is a good job with people that I mostly like. However, they do not offer ANY form of health insurance to woman (which I am, obviously). They don't have any retirement options such as a 401k. I was told a year ago that I wasn't eligible for a raise because I hadn't been there long enough-less then a year- and told this year because of recent additions to staff and the cost of all the raises given last year I probably will not be getting a raise this year-maybe next year a cost of living increase---MAYBE. Gosh, this job sounds like the pits. It's not really. My current job is very laid back, if I'm sick no problem, if my kid's sick no problem, if I'm occasionally late, no problem, if I want to come in on the weekends to finish something up, no problem. When I need to leave at 3:00 on Wednesdays no problem as long as the work is done. This job allows my child to attend the preschool program for free, they take her to kindergarten at the public school and pay for the afterschool care which picks her up from kindergarten. These are my ONLY benifits. These benifits amount to about $4000 a year. We're not strapped for money, but I haven't had health insurance for me or Peanut for about two years. Thank GOD, He has blessed us to be pretty healthy these last two years and when I needed to go to the doctor I just paid for the visits and the medicine. I'm not trying to make you feel sorry for me... I'm just pretty much thinking out loud trying to decide what I want to do. I have until the end of the week to submit a resume if I want to go for the job.

Vacations

I feel like I haven't been at work for a week. It's probably because I really haven't. Except for last Wednesday when I worked until about 3:15. I kinda wish I could take tomorrow off and just relax for a moment and do all the house cleaning chores that I haven't had the energy to do. The house isn't pitted out or anything. I've got a new vacuum so of course I had to try it out, and it sucks-which is a good thing where vacuums are concerned. I just haven't got to tackel all those other things I would like to, like the bathtub, it needs a good cleaning. And the sheets and comfortor on my bed could use a bath.... I've been going and going non-stop for days now I'm looking forward to normalcy of work. With Nickel's grandma dying our house became Grand Centeral Station for about 4 days with last Sunday as a day of rest(ie cleaning for me). Then as soon as that ended my mom showed up and away we went for our long planned vacation. Our vacation was a lot of fun! I always enjoy spending time with my mommy, however, I've been sick since they day Grandmother died. I cough and I cough and I cough some more. It was to the point where everytime I had a deep chest cough I had pain in my chest and upper arms for a couple of seconds, just pulled muscles I'm sure since the pain is gone with most of my coughs. Can you call in sick the first day after your vacation when you're actually starting to feel better? LOL, I guess I better not, there's a LOT for me to do when I get back I'm sure. Well, I guess I've talked myself into going to work and if I'm going to be worth anything tomorrow I had better get back to bed. 2 am isn't really the best time to blog when you have to go to work in a few hours.

Good night, good morning, have a great day!

Power

You can be pitiful or powerful, but you CAN'T be both!

-Joyce Meyer

Waiting on Dr Pontious

"Are you waiting on Dr. Pontious" the girl said.
"Yes, is he in?" asked the woman holding two babies.
"Let me check for you....."

Tonight we're just chilling out in the living room, watching TV when in wheeled the doctor. I think she must work for Dr. Pontious. She fixes the naked babies up by washing their heads with Windex (well, until I noticed and made her put it up!).

Doc, if you're reading this, I think Peanut has forgiven you for making her take all those shots!

Getting Away

Well, it's finally here! My vacation starts TODAY!!! I'll probably not be able to post for a couple of days so, miss me! I'll be back later this weekend with LOTS to tell you about.

It HURTS

*the following is an actual conversation between Peanut and Daddy tonight*

PEANUT: WAAHHHHH!!!! It hurts!
DADDY: It's bedtime, be quite, lay still in your bed with your eyes closed and maybe it will stop hurting.
PEANUT: I need medicine!
DADDY: I already gave you the only medicine we have for that. We don't have any other medicine that will help.
PEANUT: WAAAHHHHH!!! It hurts!
DADDY: You have to go to school tomorrow, try to lay still and go to sleep
PEANUT: WAAHHHH!!! IT HURTS!
DADDY TO MOMMY: Will this medicine help? *holding the tube of triple antibiotic ointment*
MOMMY: Nope, but you could try it. It won't hurt anything and maybe she'll go to sleep.
DADDY TO PEANUT: Ok, we can use this. It MIGHT make you feel better or it MIGHT sting.
PEANUT: I think it feels better when I'm quite and I lay still with my eyes closed.

It's a good thing

We have two blind guys that go to our church every Sunday. One uses a walking stick and people's elbow's to get around. The other uses a seeing eye dog. Recently Peanut has become very facinated with the seeing eye dog. Her doggy wags his tail and on occasion barks and pretty much asks to be petted all the time. This doggy however stands ver still when his owner is still and walks when his owner walks and never wags his tail. I've tried to tell Peanut that he's working and he acts just like her doggy when he's home and off work.

Sunday Peanut watched as the master and dog walked out to their car. "It's a good thing that lady, what's her name?" "Mary" I responded. "Yeah, it's a good thing Mary's here to drive them home."

Yes, Peanut, it's a very good thing!

Tears

Months ago I learned a few things about tears. I think now is a good time to share this information. I don't remember where I saw this, but I copied it down and saved it to my computer. I find it's fitting for a day such as this.

Angry tears spill forth from the outside corner of the eye, making them easier to wipe away as they come at unexpected moments and inappropriate times. They originate in the ego - the part of our being that presents to the world that we think we are. Angry tears create heat and stiffness in the body, because when we are angry, we usually don't know how to express what we feel. We definitely don't want anyone to know when we are angry, because anger is not acceptable or polite. Rather than display anger, we hold back, and the tears rage forth, shattering our self-image. More important, angry tears reveal to those around us our vulnerabilities. This, we believe, is not a wise thing to do.

Sad tears spill forth from the inside corner of the eye, finding their way across our nose, cheeks, and lips. For some reason we always lick sad tears. We know that they are salty, and the things that bring them forth are usually the bitter experiences in life. Sad tears come from the heart. They usually bring a bending of the shoulders and a drooping of the head.

Frightened tears take up the entire eye, clouding our vision, as fear will do. When we are frightened, we cannot see or think. Frightened tears are usually big tears that well up in the eye. They spill over the whole face. Frightened tears come from the soles of the feet. They shoot through the body and create trembling or shaking.

Then there are shame-filled tears, which fall when we are alone with our thoughts and feelings. Shame-filled tears come when we're judging ourselves, criticizing ourselves, or beating up on ourselves for something purely human that we have done yet can't explain to ourselves or to others. Shame-filled tears come from the pit of the stomach and usually cause us to bend over - not in pain, but in anguish.

Combination tears are the worst tears of all. They are filled with anger and sadness, with fear and shame. They have a devastating effect on the body, bringing the stiffness of anger, the drooping of sadness, the trembling of fear, and the bending of shame. They make you cold when you are hot. They make you tremble when you are trying to keep still. Most of all, they make you nauseated.

Many of us have been able to float on our tears to a new and better understanding of ourselves and the things we have experienced in life. Through our tears, we get in touch with those experiences that we have forgotten, hidden, or buried away in the pit of our souls. These tears have brought us to a deeper realization of ourselves and of the constant mercy and grace of God.

Goodbyes

Goodbyes are never easy, even when you know they're coming. Today my husband called to tell me that they were rushing his grandmother to the ER, and she wasn't expected to live. Upon seeing me cry, I told Peanut that her great-grandmother was very sick and dropped her off at school and soon joined my husband at the hospital. We are the only family in town so we were the first ones there. Grandmother had been revived after her heart stopped, but she had internal bleeding from taking asprin for so long, her blood pressure was very low, and she couldn't breath on her own, but she was hanging on. I think she was waiting on us to be there. No one should have to die alone. I know, I know, we're not really alone because Jesus or the angels are there, but I'm talking about family. The family soon showed up and we waited in the ICU waiting room for a few hours. We talked, we laughed, we enjoyed each other's company. We each got to see the shell of the woman we had loved for so long. Her heart may have been beating but she had already left to be with her friend, Jesus. It was so hard looking at this woman who has loved her family so much just lay there with a tube in her mouth her eyes glazed over. I don't know if she heard us or knew we were there, but we told her it was ok for her to go. I think that's what made it so hard. Just being able to say, 'we'll be ok. you go see heaven!' Grandmother passed from this life at 4:30 this afternoon with her family close by.

I picked Peanut up after she passed and being the mommy I had to tell her. It was so hard. How do you get across to a 5 year old that she won't get to play with her great-grandmother ever again. I picked up a couple of tissues on the way out the door and she asked why. As soon as we got to the car I asked her if she remembered me telling her about Great Grandma being sick this morning. She said she did. So I knelt down and told her that Great Grandma had died and went to be with Jesus. Oh the tears fell from both of us. I think mine were mostly because I had to tell my little girl about it. But I think she understood. About 10 mintues later she was right back to her normal happy self. I'm sure from time to time she'll tell me how she misses Great-Grandma, she tells me all the time how she misses her grandma's dog. Oh, how I wish we were able to release our sadness as quickly as children do.

I know that Grandmother is in a much sweeter place now. She is home with the angels that she loved so much. Her friend Jesus is probably having coffee with her right now. Grandmother never met a stranger and her love for life was expressed through her sparkling eyes and bright smile. She will be missed.

This time next week

I'm actually taking a couple of days of vacation and going somewhere!!! That so rarely happens to me. Usually when I take time off I stay home and put my house back in order from lack of enthusiasm when I get home. But next Wednesday Momma will be coming over to the flat side of the state to stay the night with us. Then Thursday after dropping Peanut off at school she and I will head down to Oklahoma City for a weekend!!! Joyce Meyer will be in OKC Thursday-Saturday and we are really looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to having Mommy time! With gas prices as they are and weekends growing shorter (or so it seems) it's hard for me to make the 3 1/2 hour drive back home to my hometown. And every time I go, I'm required to bring Peanut along so guess who gets most of the attention? But I expect it. When I do make it back home it's usually for holidays and my brother, his wife, and four children show up too. Not that I'm complaining! I love my nieces and nephews very much, but sometimes a three-bedroom house gets a little small when you have 5 children, 6 adults, and a cat.

Momma and I get to do things that Daddy and Nickel would NEVER do. You know, like go to a couple of museums and the flower gardens (I think the orchids are in bloom inside the greenhouse). There are a couple of restaurants that we must eat at. And who knows, depending on time we MIGHT go see a chick-flick! There’s a lot that we want to do in our weekend.

The first message will be Thursday night at 7:00 pm so we have MOST of the day Thursday to play. There are two messages Friday, one at 10:00 am and the other at 7:00 pm. Then there are two messages on Saturday one at 10:00 and the other at 2:00. Brian Houston, from Hillsong will be preaching the Thursday evening and Saturday morning messages and Joyce the other three. I'm not 100% sure if we'll stay for the Saturday messages. Peanut has a soccer game at 1:00 back here so me might just play in the City in the morning and come home. I guess it'll all depend on how good Brian Houston is and if we want to listen to him again!
So, next week, when I'm out of pocket (oh yeah, probably won't have time to even check my email next weekend so forget about me blogging) don't worry about me. I'll be back either Saturday night or Sunday with LOTS AND LOTS to tell you about I'm sure! I'll probably even have a few pictures!

But of course, this is all NEXT week. :-(
I don't like waiting.....

Scrambled Eggs

Peanut has decided that her new favorite breakfast is scrambled eggs. This is probably because I actually let her cook them. She's so funny! She cracks the eggs without getting them over EVERYTHING somehow. Then she stirs them up. I tried to show her to wisk them, but you know 5 year olds. But I wisk them real good before putting them in the skillet. Then she stirs. And stirs. And stirs. By the time she's done the eggs are in tiny little pieces but that's ok, they taste the same. Peanut is really looking forward to cooking them for her Nana when she comes over next week!

Have a sunny-side up day!

Elvis

I use to make fun of those people who claimed to see Elvis alive after all these years, but from this day forward not one single jest, jab, or joke will be made at those people's expenses. Because I too, have seen Elvis. Yes, it's true. Here is my story. Tonight I went into the local Piggly Wiggly (for those of you in northern USA and Canada, that's a grocery store we have here in the back woods of the South)--

- ok ok, so we don't actually have a Piggly Wiggly, gee, I can't finish my story if you keep interuptin' like that!

Anyway, back at the Piggly Wiggly, I was buying some spinich and 'maters (also known at tomatoes) when in he walked. His sideburns were down to his chin. He wore a black button down-Johhny Cash kind of shirt. He had on jeans and a black cowboy hat. I bet you didn't know that Elvis was an OU football fan. Well, he is. I saw the crimson OU pin in the middle of his hat! Elvis bought a few things. I couldn't really see what he had because he was holding it all pretty close. But I think he got a 'mater and some Cheetos.

I saw him get into a long black limo and drive away. He was drivin'. Hmm... didn't Elvis sing about a Long Black Limousine? Hmm.... intersting... very intersting.

I belong in Paris

You Belong in Paris Stylish and a little sassy, you were meant for Paris. The art, the fashion, the wine, the men! Whether you're enjoying the cafe life or a beautiful park... You'll love living in the most chic place on earth What City Do You Belong in? Take This Quiz :-)

Weddings Galore

Well as much pain as my legs are in today, yesterday was a really good day! Nickel was smashing in his tux and Peanut was adorable (as always) in her "wedding dress". No more weddings for a while.... oh, wait. Nickel's step-bro is getting married in two weeks... Do you think I can get away with wearing dressy slacks to that wedding? I think I'll try. No more pantyhose--at least not for a whole day!

Weddings Galore

So, some of you may not know this, but at the church I work for I also double as the Wedding Coordinator. Today was my second wedding. It was a lot of fun. I don't do the wedding planning I just supervise the rehearsal and wedding ceremony (that is of course after putting it on the church calendar, collecting the fees, notifing staff, custodial, and security of time and date. I'm the one standing on the other side of the door telling the ushers which grandma to take down first, I tell the bridesmaids what order and when they're suppose to go, and of course I send the bride and her father down the aisle too. Then I get to take about a 15 minute break until the pastor sends them back up the aisle as man and wife.

Today, though was a little more hectic then most. I had the wedding at the church today. That wedding started at 2, but the bride and family were there at 10--which means I was there before 10. I don't like pantyhose--I think I'm allergic to them because they become very painful after a few hours and it sometimes takes days for me to recover. The lovely wedding was over at 2:30 and by 2:45 I was in the car. I left the church as is knowing there was still work for me to do. I drove 30 minutes to where Peanut and Nickel were ready for our friend's wedding. I got there just in time! That wedding started at 3:30 and by 4:30 I was back on my way to town to finish up the wedding I had left. Of course there was NO one there to help me put up all the pillers. The bride's mother had moved the heart shaped candel abras so her video camera could get a good shot, but she put them directly under my AC vents which mean my "drippless" candles ending up dripping all down the candles from the air pushing the wax out. Lovely--guess who got to clean that up. I found a ciggarette in a trash can and could smell the smoke. I walked by the men's bathroom and could smell smoke in there too.... what makes people think it's OK to smoke in a church?!?!?!? Come on, have some common sense!

Sorry, if I sound cranky or snippy tonight-- I am! I'm in pain and I hope I can walk tomorrow. If not, those friends I go to church with will read my blog and know that I must be stuck in bed.

But I really do love weddings!

Where did it go?

Ok, I swear, I was just about to comment to the comments left to my last blog when it just disappeared. What's going on? Am I loosing my mind?

More help please

Ok, so I've been reading the Genisis story from the Message translation. Let me tell ya, it makes more sense then the King James version I grew up reading.

In chapter 4 Eve bares two sons; Cain and Able. Then Cain throws a temper tantrum and kills Able. In verse 15 God speaks to Cain's fear of being killed himself "'Anyone who kills Cain will pay for it seven times over.' GOD put a mark on Cain to protect him so that no one who met him would kill him."

Ok, according to what I've been taught, Adam and Eve were the first people. Cain and Able were the third and forth people. Now #3 has killed #4 leaving only 3 people. Here's my questions (you knew they were coming): Who is Cain afraid of? Would Eve kill Cain for killing Able? If he's just afraid of Adam-the only supposed person on the face of the Earth according to the teachers-wouldn't he have just said what if my father kills me instead of "whoever finds me" in verse 13?

Ok, so suppose Cain and Able have other brothers and sisters. We know that Cain is married, it says so in verse 17 when he sleeps with his wife. Is she his sister?

There's enough to get you started. Let me know your opinions and I'll finish sharing mine.

The Pot at the End of the Rainbow

Time

Time... where does it go? We have so many short cuts in life to save time and we end up doing is cramming more and more stuff into that slot. Why? Why do we do this to ourselves? Are we so afraid of what we might actually do or say if we stopped for just a few moments? Are we afraid of our own thoughts and ideas? Are we afraid that if we stopped for just a moment that God would try to speak to us? Heaven forbid HE get in the middle of what I'M trying to do... ha!

Do you think he looks at us and laughs at our silliness like I do at my daughter in her silliness? She knows so much, but I know so much more. Having this child has taught me to look at God in a whole new light for me. I see God as the knowing parent. He knows instinctively that we're coloring on our bedroom walls when He's in the kitchen. And He knows that the dog didn't do it, even though we blame it on him and have "proof". God teaches us all sorts of stuff, but not before we're able to understand it. And sometimes he gives us a lesson and if we just don't get it he gives it to us again and again with some variation until we do get it. I've been trying to teach my daughter how to tie her shoes now for about 2 months. She's a very stubborn little girl and will NOT listen to direction from me, other people--most times, me--not usually. Some day she'll get it. But aren't we like that with God? God tries to show us something and we say 'No God, I've got this one. I don't know what I'm doing, but I'll figure it out' God is so patient with us. He sits back with a smile on his face and says, 'Ok, you give it a shot. Let me know how it works out for you.' Then of course we don't do it and have to give up and ask for help.

Well, this blog took a much different turn then I expected it to when I sat down 30 minutes ago. I hope you find that moment today to just stop and listen. Perhaps God has something He'd like to say to you!

Day Dreaming

"I know what day dreaming is." Peanut said to me early in the morning.
"Oh," I replied. "What is day dreaming?"
"It's when you stare like this with your mouth open like this." she demonstrated.

It's so fun to hear how they learned something! I hope you spend the day with your mouth open, "like this"!