I use to make fun of those people who claimed to see Elvis alive after all these years, but from this day forward not one single jest, jab, or joke will be made at those people's expenses. Because I too, have seen Elvis. Yes, it's true. Here is my story. Tonight I went into the local Piggly Wiggly (for those of you in northern USA and Canada, that's a grocery store we have here in the back woods of the South)--
- ok ok, so we don't actually have a Piggly Wiggly, gee, I can't finish my story if you keep interuptin' like that!
Anyway, back at the Piggly Wiggly, I was buying some spinich and 'maters (also known at tomatoes) when in he walked. His sideburns were down to his chin. He wore a black button down-Johhny Cash kind of shirt. He had on jeans and a black cowboy hat. I bet you didn't know that Elvis was an OU football fan. Well, he is. I saw the crimson OU pin in the middle of his hat! Elvis bought a few things. I couldn't really see what he had because he was holding it all pretty close. But I think he got a 'mater and some Cheetos.
I saw him get into a long black limo and drive away. He was drivin'. Hmm... didn't Elvis sing about a Long Black Limousine? Hmm.... intersting... very intersting.