Nerves

My grandmother was a nervous soul. We lived about 30 minutes from town growing up but if she knew we were in town and on our way home she would sit and stew until we gave her a little phone call telling her we arrived safe and sound. Luckily we lived close, some of my aunts, uncles, and cousins lived a couple hours away! My mother has some of these nerves too, but I don't think they're quite as bad. If they are she's pretty good at hiding them. Me, I've never been one to be nervous. But there are occasions. Like tonight. It's 4:30 am. I have to "get up" in about thirty minutes to get ready for the big trip to camp. I've been awake for a little over two hours. My stomach has been in knots ever since I woke up. To be honest, it's driving me crazy. In between trips to the bathroom to throw up I've been begging God to just take these nerves away. I've prayed for everyone I can think of. I've asked for protection over the students, even the ones I haven't met yet. I've asked for protection over my family. But still I find no comfort.

About 9 o'clock last night (tonight?) it finally sunk in to Peanut that I would be leaving for a few days. We've spent time apart before. She's a champ when it comes to spending the night with her friends and a couple times a year she stays with her grandmother in Tulsa for four or five days, without me and daddy. I've taken weekend trips with my mom, without her. But for some reason tonight she got very upset. Which of course got me very upset, but I tried so hard not to show it. I tried to comfort her. I assured her that I would miss her too, but I would call her and I'd be home before she knew it. She's going to have so much fun. She gets to go to the park today, skating on Friday, and maybe swimming if Ms Lynn's pool gets fixed soon. Because of our room arrangments I have to take twin sized sheets. Well, the only twin sized sheets we have are hers, of course. She's letting me take her Dora sheets so I will think of her every night. She also insisted I take one of her babies. I made her a necklace out of old necklace pieces tonight to wear while I was gone. It's a daisy that has one of those mood stones in it. I didn't try to explain that too her though.

And I guess a part of me is a little on the anxious side because I thought we were coming home on Saturday, but on this last Sunday I found out it will be Sunday before we're home. Just 24 extra hours, but that's enough to get me all twisted up inside.

So friends, I ask you say a little prayer for me and my family this weekend. Now I think I'm going to go ahead and take a shower then maybe find some chamomile tea and see if that helps calm my nerves.