And now for something completely different

My friend Anna sent me the funniest (ok you English teacher's it's a word if I use it as a word) emails. With her permission I'm sharing it with you. This poor girl really needs a good man!


Okay, so, listen to this………………I finally got the nerve to write a little note to my neighbor that lives across the hall from me. I used a flyer thing Christina gave to me that was an invitation to her church Saturday night. I stuck it on his door and it basically said something about how it was nice to see that he was back in town (he’d been gone 2 months for the Air Force) and if he wanted to make a new friend he could just “knock”. Right, so, I left the note on his door not thinking he’d ever read it or respond to it. Guess what!! At 9:00 last night HE KNOCKED!!! I freaked! I froze up and just sat on my couch, heart pounding, mind reeling! Then he rang the door bell. Now, I couldn’t exactly just get up and answer the door after he rang the bell because there wasn’t a good excuse for not answering the door when he knocked…its not like I could say, “oh, sorry, I didn’t hear you knock” or “oh, sorry, I couldn’t make it to the door clear from the other side of my small, one bedroom apartment that takes 20 steps to walk from one side to the other.” So, I just sat on my couch, TV BLARING (so he knew I was there), car parked next to his (so he knew I was there), heart pounding, mind reeling. Then I heard his door shut. Whew!

So I run into my bathroom, fix my hair and makeup, brush my teeth, put on a cute shirt, and my shoes. I get to my door and stand there. I start praying, God, please help me get the nerves to just knock on his door and say, “hi, I heard you knock. My name is Anna.” But I continue standing in front of my door, staring at it. I finally get the nerve to unlock my door. Hey, baby steps. Then, I hear a vacuum…his. No!! Now he’ll never hear me knock. My phone rings…my mom. So I run into my bedroom and answer it, laughing. I tell her what is going on and she is hysterical. She can’t believe I’m such a dork…we laugh hard. I hear his vacuum shut off so I tell my mom I have to “go do this thing.” Right, so I get to my front door again…and I stand there. His vacuum turns on again. What the heck???!! Okay, so it shuts off again. Breathing, breathing, praying for courage…I open my door! I walk three steps and ring his bell. Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Act normal…breathe!!

He opens his door and the heavens open up, angels sing, and its like “AWWWW” (singing voice). HE’S GORGEOUS!!! I already knew that, but its even better face to face. So I say, “Hi, I heard you knock. Sorry, I was on the phone with my mom.” LIAR!!! But he bought it...or at least he acts like it. Oh, did I mention he’s SHIRTLESS! Come on now, this can’t get any better. TRUST ME…IT DOESN’T. He invites me in and says, “Let me go put a shirt on.” I think, no that’s okay, I’m good…but whatever...he puts on a shirt. So as I walk into his apartment I notice something…there’s NO furniture, nothing at all! He says, “You caught me in the middle of packing…I’m moving tomorrow.” And in the most ridiculous, girly voice I say, “Oooh, Really?” So we hang out for a while and talk and laugh a lot and I finally realize there is no point to me being here since he’s leaving for Omaha, Nebraska in the morning so I say, “Well, I should probably go home so you can finish packing and cleaning.” And he says, “oh, by the way, I was going to ask you if you wanted to take care of my plant for me.” And he hands me this little baby plant. OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! All this for a stinkin’ plant! This is so like a bad chick flick. So I say, “Sure, but I’ll probably kill it.” Good move Anna.

So as I’m letting myself out and he starts to grab his vacuum again, he smiles at me and says, “I’m glad you left that note. It was really cool. It’s too bad I’m moving. It would have been nice to know I was living next to you.” Lalalala, we chitchat a little more and then as I’m walking out the door he says, “I’ll see you later.” I turn to him and smile and he laughs and says, “Or maybe not.” We both laugh and I walk out. What a night! I get all my nerves up for a stinkin’ plant!

So, I guess that’s it for me. No romance in the future. So much for that dream.