Sunday, January 01, 2006

The Sock Thief

Your honor and ladies and and gentlemen of the jury, my client, Ms Peanut, has been wrongly accused of leaving clean-folded socks in the living room and dining room. Evidence presented today will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that my client could not have left the socks in the floor and should therefore be released from any punishment.

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The defense can call their first witness.

Your honor, we call Mom to the stand.

Raise your right hand. Do you swear the tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God?

I do.

Mom, in your own word describe for us the scene that took place in your house just days ago.

Well, I was cleaning my house and I noticed two pair of clean socks lying in the floor of the dining room on the path we take from the living room to the kitchen. Thinking that perhaps she or I had dropped them while doing laundry I picked them up and took them to her room where I placed them back in her still opened dresser.

What happened the next day?

The next day I found two new pair of clean socks lying in the floor. One under my computer desk and the other next to the desk. I then asked Peanut to take them back to her room and she did.

Did you ask her if she had got them out of her dresser?

No. I just assumed she did.

Why?

Because they were her socks.

I see. And tell me, have you seen any socks in the floor since?

Yes, I found some socks just inside the living room at 12:25 am this morning.

Had the socks been there before?

No, the socks were not there when I went to bed at 11:00 pm.

I see, and where was my client when you found these socks?

She was at her grandparents house where she was staying the night.

Did you see anyone in the living room?

I saw the cat.

The cat. And did you pick up the socks?

Yes, I took them back to Peanut's room.

And what did you find?

I discovered the dresser drawer that holds her socks was open.

Could you, then assume that the cat had taken the socks.

Objection, calls for speculation.

I will allow it. Please, answer the question.

Yes, because Peanut was not home, my husband and myself were asleep and the cat was not, and because the cat was found with the socks I believe that the cat removed these socks and has been the one taking the socks out of Peanut's drawer at night to play with them. Or she could be trying to put them on, but why would a cat need to wear socks?

No more questions your honor.

Because of this new evidence I find that Ms Peanut is innocent. She should be given icecream for dessert after lunch as a sincere apology. Case dismissed.

6 comments:

madcapmum said...

Love it! I'm glad I'VE never wrongly accused MY kids of anything! ;-)

Girl said...

Oh my goodness...this is hilarious!!

Poor Ms. Peanut!

I hope you and your family are having a lovely New Year!!

--girl

~Jennifer said...

lol! I'll bet peanut is loving this. There is nothing like vindication for a little kid when the vindicatee (is that a word) is mom.

HeyJules said...

Leslee, that was hysterical! The same thing happened at my house during Christmas. Gracie kept sneaking into mom and dad's room and bringing out mom's socks to play with.

But then, my mother knew better than to accuse me (her Peanut) of playing with her socks. I believe this is only because of 1) my age (45) and 2) Dogs naturally look guiltier than cats.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

see-through faith said...

ROFL

Leslee said...

Madcapmum, you are too good of a mother to ever wrongly accuse your children of something.

Girl, thank you. I have no complaints about 2006 so far. You have a wonderful New Year too!

Jennifer, because I never came out and actually accused her taking the socks out of the drawer she doesn't have a whole lot to gloat about. But I did give her the icecream for dessert.

Jules, I'm glad your mom caught on a LOT faster then I did!

See-through, get off the floor! You might get dirty!