The Sock Thief

Your honor and ladies and and gentlemen of the jury, my client, Ms Peanut, has been wrongly accused of leaving clean-folded socks in the living room and dining room. Evidence presented today will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that my client could not have left the socks in the floor and should therefore be released from any punishment.

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The defense can call their first witness.

Your honor, we call Mom to the stand.

Raise your right hand. Do you swear the tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God?

I do.

Mom, in your own word describe for us the scene that took place in your house just days ago.

Well, I was cleaning my house and I noticed two pair of clean socks lying in the floor of the dining room on the path we take from the living room to the kitchen. Thinking that perhaps she or I had dropped them while doing laundry I picked them up and took them to her room where I placed them back in her still opened dresser.

What happened the next day?

The next day I found two new pair of clean socks lying in the floor. One under my computer desk and the other next to the desk. I then asked Peanut to take them back to her room and she did.

Did you ask her if she had got them out of her dresser?

No. I just assumed she did.

Why?

Because they were her socks.

I see. And tell me, have you seen any socks in the floor since?

Yes, I found some socks just inside the living room at 12:25 am this morning.

Had the socks been there before?

No, the socks were not there when I went to bed at 11:00 pm.

I see, and where was my client when you found these socks?

She was at her grandparents house where she was staying the night.

Did you see anyone in the living room?

I saw the cat.

The cat. And did you pick up the socks?

Yes, I took them back to Peanut's room.

And what did you find?

I discovered the dresser drawer that holds her socks was open.

Could you, then assume that the cat had taken the socks.

Objection, calls for speculation.

I will allow it. Please, answer the question.

Yes, because Peanut was not home, my husband and myself were asleep and the cat was not, and because the cat was found with the socks I believe that the cat removed these socks and has been the one taking the socks out of Peanut's drawer at night to play with them. Or she could be trying to put them on, but why would a cat need to wear socks?

No more questions your honor.

Because of this new evidence I find that Ms Peanut is innocent. She should be given icecream for dessert after lunch as a sincere apology. Case dismissed.