Saturday, July 08, 2006

Turning in my resignation

I'm really struggling today, friends. Today is suppose to be a happy day when a young man and the woman of his dreams come together and say heart-felt vows to each other. But today I'm considering what would happen if I just told them what spoiled little brat they and their wedding entourage are being. Two days ago they come to me and ask if they can use the church's printer and folder for their programs (they'll pay of course--but I haven't seen any money yet). They brought the paper to me and the printer wasn't working right so they left it for me to do. No, please call us when the printer is done. Nope, instead they say, here you go. I'm expected to smile and nod. I don't think I would've minded so much if they had brought it to me at least a week before. This week was a short work week. I only had two days to do my normal weekly stuff, end of month stuff, and beginning of month stuff to do. Guess what I actually got done this week. Half of a normal work week, the beginning of month stuff, and less then half of end of the month stuff. Oh well, nothing I can do about it now. Then Friday they actually had several people show up to help decorate and they actually did most of it. The bridesmaids like barking orders at me though. I don't really like that. There's on in particular that I'd like to take into the dressing room (that needs a key to get in or out) and tell her what a snot she's being and what my job does NOT entail!

I try to be flexible. This is their wedding and not mine. But when they push me out of my comfort zone the hairs on my back start sticking straight up!

So today I sent my boss, the pastor, an email. I told him we needed to talk about my request to resign and gave him reasons like: it takes time away from my family (which it does, I spend about three hours after work at the church for rehearsal and all day Saturday no matter what time the wedding is sometimes this works out to about $10 an hour, but lately it's only been about $7 and that's not worth my entire weekend), people call the previous wedding coordinators Unreasonable Control-Freaks and I really don't want to join that list, and people, both member and non-members, don't respect my authority (I tell people the reception area is close from 12-5 so what do they do? They call someone else to get their way. What am I suppose to do if E will let them in and not even bother to call me and tell me what's going on?).

I'm a little sad and I'm torn emotionally. I try to have a servant heart and I think how people walked all over Christ and made unreasonable demands from Him, but He was still gracious. I stuggle with showing people grace when they treat me like a dog. I guess that's the human response and since Christ was fully human AND fully God, which I obviously am not, He was able to rise above the human-ness and show grace.

So there it is. Got anything to say about it?


EmmaSometimes said...

You do work for them, yes, but you are NOT unreasonable to expect people to show you respect and courtesy, especially from grown adults. It's a shame that no one else on your 'side of the desk' can't back you up with your decisions. I'd feel just as upset. You should also tell "E" that undermining your decisions makes you look terrible and is disrespecting your judgement.

My only advice. Stand your ground, but don't leave angry or with things lieft unresolved.

Im sorry you have this problem, but it sounds you are doing the right things. :o)

That's my twenty-five cents.

Sally said...

I echo emma, you are not being unreasonable asking for a little respect and courtesey... no one should be walked all over like that their attitude was stinky.
Thoughts and prayers are with you ((()))

Girl said...

Is there a way to have a set of rules posted and distributed prior to securing the church facilities, and in turn, your assistance? Can the pastor help facilitate and support this? It seems a shame that you would have to give up something that for the most part you enjoy.

Badoozie said...

i'm betting you've already been through talking to someone about this, and asking for help etc. i wouldn't think you would be considering resigning unless you had done all that, so i'll focus on something else

they're called "boundaries" and they are healthy. they are an important part of every person. they are what makes us who we are. and Christ had them too. He would only be pushed so far. when he needed rest, he went into the wilderness and took it. then there's the money changer thing. and the only reason he was walked on was because he allowed it to make a point.

you are a human, you are not christ. sure you're supposed to strive to be like him, but you'll never make it if you don't have some boundaries. draw some lines. and stand firm by those. the person who lets other people breach their boundaries all the time, is the person full of resentments and bitterness. and that is not where you want to be.

either make some rules/boundaries around yourself in regards to this, or cut and run. i trust you will do the right thing.

Leslee said...

Emma, I'm not angry, yet. And you're right, I don't want to leave angry. I still have to work there M-F and I don't want this situation to interfere with my "day job".

Sally, thank you for your thoughts and prayers I know they've helped already.

Girl, when people call to book a wedding or even just to get information I give them a brochure explaining my job and stressing the point that I'm not a wedding planner who will make sure you have the table cloths you want and every other little detail that often goes over looked. When I've gone to the pastor about getting help in situations he doesn't really do much. He's a very patient man and usually waits for problems to just blow over and if a year later they haven't then he MIGHT talk to someone. But that's not going to keep me from talking to him this week.

Susie, I have talked to as many people I can think of to help me. I even came up with the idea to have a reception coordinator who can handle all that side of the weddings, but no one really wants the job because the lady over the reception area is often disagreeable. Thank you for reminding me Christ did take breaks when he needed to rest. Perhaps that is all I need. We've been going full wedding speed for months now. I have another wedding next weekend, but then I'm done until September. And that wedding should go smoothly. Everything I've done to help this couple has been like a total suprise to them. They haven't expected anything out of me so when I help them with this or that they've been extra pleased.
Perhaps, that's just what I need to do. Tell these people that I'm just supervising the building during the wedding and then when I pitch in they'll be like, "Wow, that's above and beyond".

Thank you friends for all your support. Now that that wedding is over and I've had a good night sleep I am feeling a little better.

uncle joe said...

You need to come to Tahlequah and eat at a good Pizza place. Works every time for me.....

Cindy said...

If the anguish of the job outweighs the pleasure of it, it's time to get rid of it.