I have this---personality---quirk. Yeah, let's call it a quirk. For some reason, and I could probably blame it on my mother, I have a tendency NOT to tell people off when I want.
For example, you knew this was coming, I'm really mad at some members of my family today. I decided since their phone has been cut off that I'd email them to let them know just how furious I was with them. Ok... so here's what I actually said:
'I tried to be patience. I know you both are very busy with family duties and such. But I just wanted to let you both know that time has run out. I had to pay the ((fees)).
I am pissed off to say the least. Not really at the money but at the fact that I was in need and you wouldn't help.
Ok... what I really wanted to say was :
You ***beep*** ***beep***! I can't believe you ***BEEP*** your *BEEP** to help me you ***BEEP*** ***BEEP*** ***BEEP*** ***BEEP****!!!! You should be ashamed you***BEEP*** ***BEEP*** ***BEEP***!!!! ****BBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPP****!
Oh, and if I was on tv they'd have one of those little black circles over my mouth so people couldn't read my lips.
So tell me, why am I not able to express my true feelings? Other people do it, and some do it very well. Me, nope, I have this thing called a conscious that makes me think what their reaction will be and what my reaction will be to their reaction and how I'll end up having to take back some words... not that at this moment I feel like I'd be out of line with using all the words that in my PG blog had to be BEEPED out because I'm THAT mad!
This part of my personality I could do without sometimes...and I'm thankful for at other times.
Oh well, this is life.